Arghh.. I dono how I got myself into this mess but I guess that is what happens when u don stand very firm to your decision and be overly worried or think too much about others.
Well.. at first I was so happie to be in Rhoc.. it was wad i enjoyed doing, orientating the freshman and guiding them...but later i was put into float.. SO..I'm in this dilemma whether to not to commit my self for float during the holidays or not.. Saying yes means 8.5 weeks of my holidays gone, spending time with my family and earning money for my hall stay within the holidays oso gone...
But i deeply know that, through doing float in the holidays, I would be able to learn many things I would never be able to in my life, making more friends as we slog hard through the eights weeks going through thick and thin.. also the sense of achievement and satisfaction when you see something wonderful is being built from scratch.. Perhaps I may also be able to equip myself with practical skills such as making clothes or maybe construction of "organic" things with just CCCB or some L-bars..
Ya.. it really seems like a good deal or meaningful of spending the hols, I don realli care if ppl say its sai-gang .. But wad I realli need is time!!! I just need more time so that I can work.. Do float and have time for myself.. The only problem is dat i may eventually burn out or sth.. BUT dats the ony thing i can control.. If I wan to do and wan to work.. The onli thing i can sacrifice is my health or sleep.. Maybe is how bad you wan something in life..
I already made up my mind at first, as I felt it was time to contribute to home after being away for so long. I really missed my family and I tot it would be good to earn my hall fees during the long holiday so that I could concentrate during sem time for my academics.. and it was school holidays, I really needed to look after my little brother so that my sister could go to school and parents to work.. AT the same time.. i knew i would be missing out on times with my friends and the wonderful experiences.. Haix..
Somehow.. I felt it all boils down to a struggle between money and family versus experience and people's opinions as well as feeling bad to throw people alone and not helping out when i may be able to.. It's like this, at first I was the only one doing costumes, but the head as promised, found two or more people to help and he thought of ways to lighten the burden by asking the dancers to help out woth costumes.. I really appreciate the gesture and the most I felt I should not just back out irresponsibly when others are trying to help.. It would be very Ironic that manpower increased yet I back out, leaving the others to suffer.. Its to selfish for me to do dat.. Its not me.. if either way someone must struggle, i rather it be ma...>.<
The most demoralising thing is that people closest to my heart don really understand my feelings and (maybe for my own good), they sound really harsh for mi to make this difficult decision. Ya,maybe they are right, I need to be scolded or jolted to senses before I continue torturing myself this way.. But i really hope they understand too. It's abit hurtful, but i understand their intentions. They are just protecting me from overloading and eventually not achieve anydin. Yup.. But I din wan this to happen either... if scolding me solves things den I don mind being scolded as long i'll enjoy to best of both worlds.
All said, I think the best option is to convince my parents about this activity, chiong my maybe 3 days/ per week to reach my dateline and work the rest of the time.. It's very tough, but I hope if i wan it bad enuf.. It will work.. As long I earn enuf pocket money and hall fees to support myself.. my mum would be appeased.. as long i eat and sleep well, my dad and I can still continue to miss each other no matter where we are.. ya i noe he will understand.. tHE most be like Owl lo.. work in the day.. chiong float at nite.. =)
I guess there's no problem in the world that can't be solved ba.. But one can't have everydin in the world...I should be glad for once I can make my OWN decision myself.. and I shall leave with it... yup.. so more convincing for mi to do man...
Haix.. Feel better pouring out almost evrydin ba... I hope good news will come soon!
i love eehiang! she's the kind soul who is helping me set this blogskin up. mwahaha.
It's Me
i'm Li Wei the pro chemist who ogles at "cute guys". it's my ultimate hobby (: wanna be one of them? apply now! only guys born before 1988, and of height 1.75m or taller, need apply.
Haha..Obviously its not me.. But i Shall not remove that portion as a form of respect for her helpfulness =)
Seriously, Me
Ng Li Wei
aka LAo Da, Daddys Girl, BAo Bei ..=P
14th Aug'1988 (Must Rem hor..LOl)
Punggol Primary School
Chung Cheng High School (Main)
Victoria Junior College
NUS-Chemistry/ Management
Raffles Hall
You Are An ESFJ
The Caregiver
You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.
In love, you value harmony and mutual understanding.
You will apologize or give someone the benefit of the doubt, if it means getting over a fight sooner.
At work, you are good at building relationships and connecting with people.
You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.
How you see yourself: Organized, dependable, co-operative
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Opinionated, critical, and know-it-all
